73

this was yesterday
in a few weeks

72

1. motorcycle jacket/"leader of the pack"
2. otis redding telling me to stay in school, also telling me i am wise.
   
3. ryan adams is right, california casts long shadows. also heartwarming is his mechanical bear collection and celebration of jewish holidays.
4. when i watch murder mysteries with my parents, we have this rule where we can only eat chocolate after the murder is committed. because there is always build up and suspense and then the murder, and there is always chocolate.

71

1. braving retail therapy
2. totally therapeutic, by the way
3. otis redding on vinyl
4. chocolate pecan tart
5. poirot + hastings
   

70

i'm thankful for my family and my friends
being home and having a home
finding the wilco book for $5 instead of $30
just because the cd is missing

69

"you're a fool and i'm sorry that six years down the road, you still can't separate what you wanted then from what you want now."

68

i'm home! i'm home i'm home i'm home! i hugged my parents and my cat and i'm home!

67

here are my shoes.
and my legs.
tomorrow i'm going home!

66

this photograph reminds me of home. it's henri matisse, taken by henri cartier-bresson. at home we have a big framed poster of it in the hallway, from an exhibit in tel aviv. before i left, my mom found a postcard of it, somehow. it hangs by my bed.

65

"So you can see
For yourself
If you don't believe me

There's so much less
To this than you think"

64

dear bonnie-prince-will-palace-billy,

you are awesome in the truest sense of the word -- like, you inspire awe. not only with that glorious moustache, but just in general. i am honestly a little terrified of you. but you are still (perhaps even more so because of it) amazing. oh my god, insane. please do not bare your teeth at me.

this is not all i see,
love,
yael.

63

i never post about television, but how could abc cancel pushing daisies? it's beautiful and morbidly funny and lee pace is just about the most handsome man on tv now (minus jon hamm, oh, don draper, it is so hard to hate you) and this week's episode featured a nod to arrested development ("you're magicians?" "illusionists!"). ugh, why?

62

this isn't funny at all. i've always hated math and now everything is numbers.

61

this time next week, this time next week.

60

"I want a good life
With a nose for things
A fresh wind and bright sky
To enjoy my suffering"

59

my mom used to read me "little bear" when i was young. except in hebrew, it was called "doobe-dov." i think he made a space-suit out of a box. i remember he made birthday soup, too.

58

throwing away the pomegranates my parents sent me

there were two of them left, red and pink and tan, nestled in a bed of bubble wrap and cardboard. at first, i didn't eat them because i had already eaten three. i broke them open carefully, juice feathering in the lines of my palms. and then, i didn't eat them because i couldn't, because they reminded me too much of home, this cardboard box on the bottom shelf of my bookcase, with those two pomegranates like dumb red eggs unhatched. and so i carried them to the backyard, to the garbage bin and its gaping mouth ready to gobble up scraps of paper and fruit flies and pomegranates alike. i didn't think of opening them each fall with my father, the tap of a knife against the edge of a metal sink and the soft ghostly bodies of rotten seeds floating in a bowl of water. i didn't think of my mother, and how she'd packed them so carefully, so that they wouldn't crack and bleed before they reached me. i didn't think of anything at all. i went to bed at three in the afternoon, and woke up feeling like someone had cut me open and emptied me out, like two rocks at the bottom of a ditch.

57

this song, and backsliding, not in the hellfire and brimstone kind of way, but in the way that makes it hard to get out of bed, hard to do anything at all.

56

two videos that i have been watching all week and that give me goosebumps (each in their own good way):

that's kind of it.

55

"i'm always in love" jeff tweedy (2-28-99) lounge ax, chicago

i really love wilco. i mean, really. i have a hard time talking about it but i try anyway and most people get this kind of wary look in their eyes when i bring up jeff tweedy because, well. yeah. but this live, solo acoustic version of "i'm always in love" from 1999 -- it physically hurts me. i don't know quite what. maybe it's the simple chords and the way they grow quiet and then loud again, or maybe it's jeff's voice, on the scratchy side of a warm echo. maybe it's that this song, which was so beautiful and upbeat and charming on "summerteeth," suddenly seems so much more earnest and soft, like "if this is only a test, i hope i do my best" makes me just want to cry. that's about it, really.

54

"wilco will love you, baby."

53

take the time.

there's this moment in "i am trying to break your heart" where jeff tweedy starts playing "poor places" on an acoustic guitar and the chords make it hard for me to swallow. with the time change, it's no longer dark when i wake up and this morning there is all this light filtering through the tree branches. i feel a little empty, a little buzzing. i can never tell if it's "my father's voice trailing off" or "dreaming of." oh, "someone ties a bow in my backyard to show me love" just makes me want to carry loops of string in my pockets just in case.

52

ryan, sing it: "i'm so very tired and i wanna come home. everything inside me, it cant hide me, i'm expired, i've got nothing to show. whatever's on the outside's knocking, you better let it in. whatever's on the inside's dying out, am i gonna lose your love? am i gonna lose your love? am i gonna lose your love? am i gonna lose your love?" love, yael.

51

it's windy outside.

50

creepy. also the harmonica in the elected's "desiree" and weirdly warm weather after a storm and oh my god wanting to take a pill and vacuum the whole house and go to sleep.

49

I.

dear will sheff,

i can't believe you're playing cafe du nord the day before i come home. not like i could go anyway, seeing as i'm only like three months twenty, but still. and the night before that, you're playing and talking about music at herbst theatre. how could you do this to me? how could you be so awesome and yet so two days early?

of course, i forgive you. show those sf folks a good time while i'm taking finals.

love,
yael.

PS. kudos on finally releasing that 7" with charles bissell. awesome.

II.

the outro to the american analog set's "come home, baby julie, come home."

III.

48

MAZEL TOV

47

if you are american and can, or if you haven't already, PLEASE VOTE.

46

small tragedies: i dropped my phone into someone's loogie today. since i have enough chocolate to last me a lifetime (or at least the next 3 weeks [probably]) i think i am going to spend my money on candles that smell good and pretty underwear. it's worth a try.

45

here's to me plugging my friend jack, because "blue, yellow and red" is one of the loveliest things i've heard in a long time.

44

mostly
maybe
kind of
we'll see